She's (not) a pawn
by onsoapyheels
Summary: a series of Oneshots centered around Wes Gibbins and Rebecca Sutter
1. smoke

"Free," Rebecca mutters to herself, as she pulls the lighter out of her pocket and lights the cigarette in between her fingers.

It's cold, but she doesn't really mind. The smoke warms her lungs as she inhales. As long as she's lived in this apartment building, the roof has always been her favorite place. Sure it was a decent place for an occasional cigarette to calm her nerves, but more importantly it was a perfect place to come to think and reflect on things – the past, Lilah, her trial, Wes. Somehow staring out over the city seemed to put everything in perspective.

She takes a drag, and hears the footsteps approaching from behind her. Her heart skips a beat.

"Hey." A voice calls out, and almost instantly, Rebecca is overcome with relief. She can hear that goofy smile in Wes' voice even before she turns around to find him standing there, hands in his jean pockets.

"You scared me."

"Sorry," he smiles. His smile always kills her inside, but in a weird, good way.

Without saying anything, Wes approaches her. He tucks a loose strand of her wavy dark hair behind her ear, and without saying anything, grabs the cigarette out from between her fingers.

"Hey..." she half-heartedly protests as he drops it on the ground and puts it out with his sneaker.

"It's a bad habit," he says. "You're better than that."

"In case you haven't heard," she fires back, "I'm acquitted. I'm free now to do whatever I want."

Wes shrugs. "I guess you're right. Who am I to stop you from inhaling like a million chemicals and getting cancer?"

His eyes are so warm and genuine when he looks at her that she almost can't take it. She knows she'll never deserve someone like him.

Instead of responding, Rebecca just turns away, looking back over the edge of the roof. She tries to seem unaffected, but they both silently acknowledge the fraction of a smile she's trying too hard to hide with indifference. She'll never say it with words, but she loves the feeling that someone truly cares about her, that she matters to someone. She never really had that feeling before him.

He stands behind her, so close that she can feel his chest gently brush against her back when he exhales. They stare out at the skyline for several minutes in silence.

"You know," Rebecca breaks the quiet because she can't help herself. "There's nothing stopping me from just lighting up another one when you leave."

"I know, Rebecca. You're completely free now. Do whatever the hell you want."

This was not at all the response she was expecting from him. She turns to stare at him, trying to hide her surprise. But then Wes gets that goofy smile again, as he gently wraps his arms around her waist.

"Just don't think I'm going anywhere so soon, okay?"

They continue to stare out at the skyscrapers in the horizon.

"Good," Rebecca whispers, leaning her head on his shoulder. She finally lets out that smile that she's tried to hide for too long.


	2. the lie

Wes unlocked the apartment door. His face was still pretty sore, but he hoped it didn't look as bad as it felt.

Unfortunately, Rebecca's reaction when he walked into the kitchen suggested that his face did, in fact, look equally as bad as it felt.

"Holy shit, Wes! Are you okay? What the fuck happened?" She exclaimed, heading over to him.

"I'm fine, I'm fine. Some kid tried to mug me on the way home, but I fought him off. It's really nothing."

"Wes, half your face is bruised. You should go to a hospital, have a doctor look at it."

"I'm not going to the hospital, Rebecca. I'm fine," He and kissed her forehead. "Promise."

"Sit down," she commanded. Her tone was serious.

He tried to brush it off. "Rebecca…"

"Do it," Rebecca snapped. This time, Wes listened.

Wes took a seat at the kitchen table. Rebecca stood over him and cupped his face in her hands. She stared into his eyes.

"Pupils are normal. Keep your head still and follow my finger," she instructed.

"Rebecca, honest, I'm okay," Wes pleaded, but she ignored him. She focused in on his eyes as she waved her index finger in front of his face. Wes sighed and followed it with his eyes.

"Good. Where are you?"

"Disneyland." Wes smiled, but Rebecca's expression was serious and unamused.

"I'm in the apartment," he answered seriously this time

"What's the year?"

"2014. See? I swear I'm okay."

"You should still go see a doctor," She muttered, and headed over to the refrigerator.

She returned with a bag of ice wrapped up in a towel. "Here," she held it against his eye. "Keep this on it until the swelling goes down."

Rebecca took a seat on Wes's lap and threw his arms around her. "Thank you," he said softly.

She kissed his forehead. "I'm just glad you're okay."

"Where did you learn all that?" Wes questioned, resting his head on her shoulder.

She smirked. "Juvie."

…

Hours later, the two lay in bed. Wes lied on his back, staring at the ceiling, while Rebecca lay beside him, her body turned towards him. Her head was rested on his chest, the rest of her body was tangled up with his. Wes could tell she was asleep because of her gentle snoring. She snored most nights– it wasn't loud or irritating, Wes actually thought it was cute, in a way it was soothing.

'Rebecca Sutter, everyone,' he thought to himself. Former juvenile delinquent, drug dealer, and murder suspect, and also probably the person who cared the most about him in the world.

Wes had never lied to her before, but this time he couldn't tell her the truth. He hadn't really been mugged earlier; he'd gotten into a fight with Asher. Per usual, during study group, Asher was making his usual ignorant and narrow-minded remarks, which he usually justified with "just kidding." He took turns targeting each member of the group, and usually Wes and the rest of the Keating 5 just ignored him. But today Asher started 'kidding' about Rebecca being a 'bitch' and a 'crack hoe', asked Wes if she was as much of a 'freak in bed' as Asher imagined, among other things. Wes lost it and punched him in the face, an action that Asher then reciprocated.

It was far from the first time someone remarked about Wes's relationship, whether it was Asher being an asshole or Michaela's more-subtle "I just see you with someone…different" remarks every now and then. He got it- from what they saw, Rebecca was edgy and brooding, while Wes was more gentle and optimistic, hell, his nickname in the Keating 5 was "the puppy". On paper the two of them had no compatibility, no business being together. They thought Rebecca's attitude and record made her bad for Wes, and a bad person in general. They wrote her off, like people had been doing for Rebecca's entire life.

Even when she was less than polite to him in the beginning, he'd never written her off. There were so many times she pushed him away, and so many times he wanted to just forget about her, but he could never bring himself to completely erase her from his mind. He wasn't completely sure why. Maybe Rebecca was right that time she accused him of not feeling like a person unless he was helping someone. Or maybe he'd always felt a weird connection with Rebecca because he knew that her harshness was just an act to cover that fact that deep down she was just as hurt and lonely as he was, probably even more so. Whatever it was that attracted Wes to Rebecca in the first place didn't matter now.

What mattered were the moments Asher and Michaela and everyone else never got to see. The way Rebecca tried too hard to fight back her adorably goofy genuine smile whenever Wes kissed her or held her in bed, and always failed. How she always managed to make sure that his freezer was stocked with mint chocolate chip ice cream when he had a big exam coming up. Or the way she'd drop everything to come to his aid and do everything she could to help him, like she had that night. Part of Wes wished that everyone could see Rebecca the way he did and understand why he loves her as much as much as he does, and why he had to do whatever it took to protect her from Sam Keating on that fateful night, now almost a year ago. The rest of him sort of likes the quiet intimacy of their relationship- their relationship is none of anyone else's business anyway.

He knew that no matter how many times he reassured her, Rebecca still worried that she didn't deserve Wes, but a lot of the time, especially nights like tonight, he wondered whether he deserved her. The truth was that questions of who deserved what or who were irrelevant; they had been through a hell of a lot in the past year and they both helped the other survive. Wes and Rebecca were a team. He hated lying to her, but telling her something she already knew, that Asher Milstone was an asshole, wasn't worth needlessly upsetting her. Who gave a fuck about Asher, or anyone else for that matter. Wes only really cared about Rebecca.

He kissed her forehead one last time and closed his eyes.


End file.
